To white lie or not to white lie?

Today I have been pondering White Lies defined as:a harmless or trivial lie, esp. one told to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

Scotty Boy posted this explanation six years ago.  Synonymous with "good," "pure," and "intending no harm." For example, "white magic" simply means "good magic" or "magic not intended to harm." Same applies to "white lie" which is a lie told for a good reason, with no intent to harm any one. 

What prompted my thoughts to turn to this question centres on nearly raw bacon on a buffet table in a high end hotel. There was a group of us enjoying a beautiful fall weekend by the ocean which may explain partly why we left it on our plate rather than complain. When the server asked us if everything was all right we all nodded yes. I think the urge to avoid spoiling the moment or the occasion causes us to "white lie" in these circumstances.

We have been eating in a lot of restaurants this season and staying in hotels and motels. This has prompted much talk about the quality of the food or the service usually instigated when a server or hotel clerk asks "is everything fine?" or  " was your stay to your liking?" We are the type who invariably say yes or yes it was fine and go on our way grumbling and complaining if it wasn't.

But maybe we are doing a disservice to the place when we do this since it doesn't stop us from complaining to others about the badly cooked bacon when we are asked if the food at the hotel was good.  I also hesitate since the wait staff doesn't do the cooking and somehow it doesn't feel right to complain to them.  I have worked at thinking of it as expressing my feelings towards the food or the service rather than attacking anyone. I have gotten better at it particularly if the problem is serious. Like the night we spent in a hotel in downtown Toronto where the hot water tap came on of its own accord in the middle of the night and would not turn off. I did complain about that. 

But if you are with other people who are easily embarrassed if anyone complains about anything in front of them you probably find yourself holding back. I do. There are people out there who hate any kind of confrontation even if it is what I call a soft one. And by soft I mean a respectful quiet comment to correct something.

 I do think the people in charge should be the ones that are told rather than front line staff especially if they are only delivering the service. And even sometimes if they are the problem since they could avoid telling anyone that there was a complaint. 

Yet I have been behind a person who is loudly proclaiming their dismay so all can hear which gives the practice of letting the company or restaurant know that there is something valid wrong, a bad name. These loud people tend to cause the rest of us to remain quiet when maybe we need to speak up too.

The service industry is a tough one. I worked as a waitress all through high school and there are a lot of rude customers too. I do believe that if a service is being provided part of the staff

training should centre on "reading" the complainants to really listen to the content and the possible reason for the complaint and to react accordingly. Now if we paid a decent wage to these folks that might work and I could stop telling white lies so they don't feel badly.