Having a time trying to get my writing "mo jo workin" this month. I received my latest manuscript from my editor who has given me lots to do. I started to work on another story which I have now decided will be a short story and I want to enter it into a contest to give me a goal to work towards. I am very goal oriented. That has side tracked my return to the latest Stella Page. Yet I know that something isn't gelling with the short story. I am trying to find the voice of my protagonist and attempting to ignore my own voice which is sometimes too loud when I write. That means the main character ends up parroting me! Not a good idea.
Did spend a day working with an auction fellow assessing the worth of the contents of a house where I am the executrix of the estate. What a funny word executrix. That is what I am called in the last Will and Testament and as a female I guess I'm not an executor. There is something creepy about telling a banker or an auction fellow that I am an executrix. Seems as if I am telling them I am a "dominatrix" which is the only word I know that names a woman and ends in "X" The definition of dominatrix is a dominating woman, esp. one who takes the sadistic role in sadomasochistic sexual activities! Settling an estate is a kind of sadism and masochism activity at times but not in a sexual way of course. Too tired and frustrated for any of that going on. But I have been dominating at times trying to protect what the Will requires.
There was a lot of stuff in the house most of which would have been "worth some money" as the auction fellow told me but apparently us baby boomers are getting rid of all of our old stuff (antiques) and the younger generation doesn't want them. So the antique sofas and chairs and tables and dressers, all that require some TLC, will be sold off for the price of taking everything from the house. All the button collections, fake jewellery and silver and china that no one wants either since they are not dishwasher safe will go for peanuts. I don't want any of it either and I am grateful there are folks out there who are willing to empty the old contents of a house for me. I have no idea how to rent a dumpster and then fill it up in January in Moncton New Brunswick. And I really have no desire to learn.
So I am welcoming the "auction/seller/buyer/get rid of stuff" guy into my life and thanking him for what he is about to do for me.
I was a bit sad when I first went through the stuff collected over a life time and now meant nothing to anyone. I thought about what I have and whether I should get rid of most of it now. But as I worked away at sorting and sifting for any personal items to destroy I thought No I am not going to care one whit about my stuff after I die and I really don't care if anyone else cares about it either.
But I do cherish most of it now since it makes me happy. I share it with my family and friends. My home and my stuff nourish me now so that is what's important. I will continue to care for what I have and on occasion add to it if it makes me and others happy.
But I do cherish most of it now since it makes me happy. I share it with my family and friends. My home and my stuff nourish me now so that is what's important. I will continue to care for what I have and on occasion add to it if it makes me and others happy.
"I love my house, I love my nest, In all the world, My nest is best." P.D Eastman
Before he left his house, my dad had us identify what we wanted. Made a great difference later, my plan is to do the same, including giving my kids things as they need them. We'll see! My second draft hit a similar bump, but I spent 30 hours this week doing all kinds of weird and wonderful exercises to get everything back on track. My issue is I hang too much onto the first draft. The second is now going to be almost completely different, but do much better!
ReplyDeleteMay we call you Trixie?? It is so hard getting rid of stuff. A long project for a long life.
ReplyDeleteAs a woman of a certain age Trix might work better!
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