Our Very Own Skeleton

This fellow was hanging around outside in the wind and rain.

I decided he would be killed if I didn't bring him in until the weather cleared up.

I sat down to have a chat with him.

This is a transcript of our conversation.

Him: Why do so many people hate Hallowe'en?
Me: I find a lot of people overdoing it for Hallowe'en. There seems to be more of those folks than the people who hate it.  It rivals Christmas for decorations although the weather is interfering some this year.
Him: Tell me about it!
Me: Some people are offended by the celebration of it being a pagan day.
Him: Oh those folks need to get over themselves. It's just another excuse for kids to get candy and for grown ups to have parties where everyone can act as silly as they want since they are pretending to be someone else.
Me: Yes I suppose you are right. We sometimes worry about things that aren't that important.
Him: Hey wait a minute I'm not saying Halloween isn't important. It's my best gig of the year.
Me: Yes although you aren't getting much attention this year. 
Him: True but that's because you put me in here where no one can see me! And I can't scare anyone.
Me: Well if it makes you feel any better you scare the heck out of Mike and I every time we come around the corner and see you sitting here.
Him: Ha Ha I see that. Mike is really good at jumping when he sees me. 
Me: Yes his startle reflex is a bit more noticeable than mine but you startle me too.
Him: Well that's my job. If I can't scare the world it might as well be you two. Sad though and a bit boring for me.
Me: Well wait until I put you back in the basement. No one will see you there so boring will be a mild word to describe how you'll feel.
Him: I want a skeleton rights lawyer! Cruel and unusual punishment! Unlawful confinement!
Me: You are going outside to finish your job first. Then we'll see about a lawyer.

                       Happy Hallowe'en