On this cold March evening I am trying to get the Writer's Digest site to give me the service I paid for. I sent a personal essay to be critiqued paying by Paypal but when I went to the page they call the submissions page I could not for the life of me find where I am to send the essay. I searched and searched. Finally I realized that I was going to require some technical assistance. So I sent an email on March 12, 2014 asking for this technical assistance. I received a "form" email back saying they would get to me when they had time. I admit this is the first time I have gotten a "form" email that wasn't followed up by real one within 24 hours. It is now March 18 and the company has had my $87.72 cents since March 11, 2014. 

 I am feeling snarky as I write this post which is an indication of the tone of the last two emails I sent back to these "form" emails from Writer's Digest. Which is what actually led me to write this post.

I posted awhile back about the Four Agreements by DM Ruiz.  I may not be practicing what he preaches. I am not speaking with good purpose when I get snarky, expecting a quick response since I am now used to receiving instant responses from online organizations or businesses. I am also taking it personally since I am used to receiving instant responses from online organizations or businesses. 

I have heard of folks who are frustrated or angry or even sad who go for a run or clean their whole house to help them get rid of the anger or frustration. I would rather stick pins in my hands or arms than do either of those things. In the past when I tried going for a brisk walk or to the gym for a good run on the treadmill assuming this was going to help I found myself so wound up that it took days to bring me back down. (I have never cleaned anything when I am stressed.) Why I wondered didn't those physical activities release the stress and or tension for me?? What I came to realize is that these activities although good for my body (maybe) gave my mind much more time to dwell, to talk to itself and to generally chew the whole situation to a pulp. I envy those folks who take off running and seem to be able to leave their troubles in the driveway.

 What works best for me is to find a book that says what I need to hear. These photos are two sets of the books that have helped me in the past and still do. I pulled these off of my bookshelves.

I have lots of others on the shelves and spread around the house. I don't call people and tell them about my current problem although I am not above bending their ear about the issues if they happen to be in my company around the time I am ticked off. (just ask my husband) but I will turn to a book. They seem to act as a mother or a wise teacher for me. I can read and reread until I figure out what I need to do or say or write or what not to do or to not do anything and let it all go, from a book. I love the saying "This too shall pass" and use it often on myself but sometimes I need help getting past it. Scorpios have a really difficult time letting things pass. I like to think it's because we are fixers. We want everything to be fixable and at least an attempt made to solve or resolve the issue somewhat so we can let it pass. 

I now work with what is referred to around here as a local service district council and in my role as chair I have encountered some interesting people. People who are angry or anxious or generally belligerent just because they are afraid that something is going to be taken away from them or changed on them or given to someone else when they really want it. I can become anxious if I think one or more of these folks is going to attend our meetings. Sometimes they will disrupt or generally push at me or us to be heard or to give us their two cents worth on just about everything. I stay quiet and listen. I answer questions and give information. I really don't want them there. Yet if I think about what we have accomplished in two years I know we have done very well in bringing these people on side on pretty well everything so far that we have done. I wonder when I am in the throes of these situations if anything I have read in all of these books is there when I need it to be. I cannot say for sure but I do know that had I cleaned my house or gone for a run I wouldn't have any of the skills I need for responding to others. I would have a fitter body and a cleaner house which would be great but I am certain I would be having a much harder time dealing with the angst at these meetings.

I don't have a book that specifically tells me how to get the Writer's Digest folks to answer my question or to give me my money back. I will continue to pursue the avenues that I can, remembering to speak with good purpose (if I ever get to talk to a person) and above all not to take it personally. I may even be able to let the $$$ go and look closer to home to find a copyeditor that I can trust. And I have learned this from my books.